Dropping Out and a Tale of Two Designer Pigs

I am thinking of dropping out of the rat race... having a tree change , giving up my well paid job and going feral.  I have done this once before, back when the term 'tree changers' wasn't even thought of..... 

It wasn't a big sucess mainly because I picked a location that was way too far from loved ones...  loved ones, who the moment the last piece of furniture was placed in the van from the ancestral home in the fringes..  decided to procreate...  I was a regular traveller on the north coast to sydney to southern highlands train... with my own toddler afterthought in tow. 

If you have ever been on a train for 10 hours with a three year old you will understand why I decided to leave paradise and move back to the fringes... One word of advice DO NOT EAT THE FOOD ON THE TRAIN..... but that is another story....

Anyway, my acres were paradise for a number of domesticated and non domesticated animals. ...  The designer pigs were used to being fed at 4pm not a moment before and certainly not a mo after, if I was even 1 minute late they would try to break out of their designer pig pen.... made by me from ecologically sustainable scraps found over the acres.....

Next scenario.... welcome to the district BBQ put on by neighbours about 20 acres next door.... treck down hill and up dale dodging my other undomesticated animals, snakes, goannas and big reds.....wine flowing... BBQ sizzling..... have to go its ten to four.....  with the promise of a lift soon, stayed longer... more wine (yum) and longer.....

Until .......SCREAMS people dashing left right and centre, the man of the house running to get his shottie.... feral pigs quick get in the house.....

Here come the pigs, no not the police come for a bust,  but my designer ones [black ones, not the ordinary pink variety for me thank you very much]

....galloping.... running.... straight for me...  all thousands of pounds of them THEY HAD SNIFFED ME DOWN... THEY WANTED THEIR DINNER  ......  YOU ARE LATE........

Have you ever wondered how that stupid fast walking event that is on the olympics was ever invented.  I can tell you....  it was invented by someone with an empty  bucket leading 400lbs of home grown pork back over hill and dale back to their designer pen.  The faster I walked the faster they walked if I ran they ran too... DANGER.... DANGER.... WILL ROBINSON.....

It was a small town and no doubt is still being talked about.....  I think I was dubbed 'the pig lady' from that day forward... not choice joyce....

Anyway this time if I do drop out I am NOT GROWING PORK or goats but that is another story.....